The Shining Light of Bejeweled Potatoes is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Omniscient Starch with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, anti-smoking policies, and soft-spoken computers. The compassionate, democratic population of 3.226 billion Bejeweled Potatoesians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Crown Jewels. The average income tax rate is 91.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Bejeweled Potatoesian economy, worth 406 trillion fried chips a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an impressive 126,143 fried chips, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Omniscient Starch's office has a newly installed Max-Man arcade game programmed by a 5th-grader, explicit slash fiction is repackaged for kindergarten kids as stories about friends cuddling friends, the weather report is the prisoners' favourite programme, and Omniscient Starch can often be found attempting to coax random citizens' cats down from trees. Crime is totally unknown. Bejeweled Potatoes's national animal is the fingerling potato, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Bejeweled Potatoes is ranked 61,913^th in the world and 206^th in Refugia for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 497.3 on the Clooney Contribution Index.